It’s my last semester in college, I’ve only got three courses I need to pass, and I’m gone. So naturally, I have to take the World’s Faggiest Fucking Class as my last PE course.They don’t call it Walking for Fitness for nothing.

Waking for Fitness

I have to wake up at 7am to get to this piece of shit class. I have no idea how I get to school on time, but this morning, I found myself waiting for our instructor in front of the field that would be our venue for the rest of the semester. I had exactly enough time to chug down a mug of coffee too (yeah, my tongue’s still numb as I write this). Looking around at my other classmates, I noticed there were three general types:

1. Fat Asses

2. Stick Chicks

3. Dorks (me)

Everyone seemed to fit very neatly into one of the 3 categories; I’ve honestly never seen a more homogenous class in my life.

Walking for Fatties

One fatass in particular was already sweating from the walk up the bleachers. He didn’t sit down as much as roll downwards. And I swear, I felt the structure groan a bit when he did.

Gad, the sweat off this guy was almost criminal. Wake up, fatboy, this class won’t help you lose weight. Stop stuffing your fat fucking face first.

Walking for Fuck-O’s

So anyway our instructor shows up, he’s wearing pink pants. He says his expertise are in chess and scrabble, but he teaches this cruddy class to keep fit. He goes on a long lecture about how none of us are truly fit, and how our bodies aren’t capable of doing simple shit like lifting refrigerators and bantam-weight cars without getting tired. What a fuck-o.

Then he brings everyone down to the field where he teaches us How to Walk. … yeah I couldn’t believe it either.

“Today”, he says, “we’ll be walking one mile. Try to do it in under 20 minutes ok?” He says it like we need the extra 5 minutes to perfect our walking skillz.

Walking for Fiber

So we walked, 3 minutes, 6 minutes, 10 minutes. I started getting this weird ass feeling in my stomach, with a grumbling, growling, whimpering noise for effect. Argh, Fuck that morning coffee!

I swear to God no one has ever completed a one mile walk that fast.

You may or may not have noticed, but cam girls are proliferating across the Internet with the same fecundity as most boy bands.If you haven’t heard of cam girls before, these are some portal sites that you may want to check out before you read the rest of this article :

Exploited
CamWhores

These sites are just the tip of the cam iceberg, but they have enough cam girl examples that you’ll be able to get the idea by surfing their various linkage.

There are a ton of reasons why one would want to be a cam girl, but our staffer Toya would probably be in a better position to explain that than me. One thing that repeatedly pops into my head though, is that it’s a chance for an otherwise unknown person to achieve boyband-esque celebrity. Oh, and fans buy you stuff, so that’s always fun.

The basic recipe for a cam site include a short bio, a gallery of pictures, maybe a few bits of prose/poetry/artwork, a blog, and the most important part, a regularly-refreshing webcam. It’s not exactly real-time, since a cam refreshes once every 5-60 seconds, but it does allow fans to see the site owner all alone in her bedroom. The voyeuristic possibilities blow the mind. Naturally, the more uninhibited you are, the more visitors your site gets. Ergo, the more gifts you will potentially receive.

It used to be that in order to be a successful cam girl, all you had to do was be cute, spend a lot of time in front of your computer, and write in your blog a lot. Now that there are so many choices out there though, the competition is getting fierce. Check out SurvivorCam2, which is an ongoing contest of sorts for various cam owners. Basically, the last cam owner standing gets the pot. If you check out SurvivorCam (OutPose, OutShine, OutWhore), you’ll probably spot Chelle’s link since she is one of the final three. Chellecam is one of the most popular cam sites on the web right now, and it’s something to check out on your way to complete Cam Awareness.

I’m not sure exactly how tough it’s getting out there, but if it’s any indication, one of the web’s premiere cam girls mija, recently closed down her site, stating that she was “sick and tired of a hobby turned hassle.”

The Cam Girl phenomenon has been around long enough that we can safely remove its “new Internet craze” moniker. But once it’s lost its novelty, who’s to say how many of these cam girls will continue with their camming? Eventually, fans will dwindle, and only the sturdiest of cam girls will survive it.

The web is a fickle thing and at the moment, cam girls are in. It’s been my experience though that the ultimate decider of the lifespan of a site is its owner and not its audience, so only time will tell how long the cam girls will last.

I was reflecting recently on how it must be, to be Uncle Bob.
Uncle Bob is this old, overweight caucasian who hangs around my favorite building all the time. Slightly balding, big spectacles, an impatient white-ass voice … you get the idea.

I’ve never seen him with anyone, while he reads his paper or drinks his coffee, and I always take that as a sign of how no one really likes him. I was watching once while he gave a waiter a chewing-out for not understanding something he said. If you’ve ever been in my country, you’d know how we fucking lick the ground that foreigners walk on, so don’t even think it was because the waiter was being an asshole.

It’s just that Uncle Bob is a big fat prick. He thinks he’s better than anyone in this country full of primitives.

Anyway, so I noticed him again the other day while having a meal in that same restaurant. Still alone, still reading his paper, still drinking his coffee. I couldn’t help wondering how it is that he’s still sane.

… my God he must masturbate like six or seven times a day at least

Guess who’s back to uh, strike back? The new Star Wars Episode II trailer is now available over at Apple.
When I first heard about the proposed title for this episode, I had to triple-check sites all over the net just to make sure it wasn’t just some baseless rumor. I’m sure this issue is pretty much considered a dead horse these days, but back then, Christ. I wanted to stick a 2 x 4 up George Lucas’ ass.

Jesus, someone stop that guy, please! He’s destroying every bit of imagination and wonder from my childhood with each new prequel he makes. This new episode … i don’t know. I hope I’m wrong, and Lucas remembered to write a script for this one, instead of just drawing storyboards for special effects shots. Somehow I doubt it though. He’s gotten too fat and too rich to be bothered with unimportant things like plot and character development.

Still, it’s this sort of eye candy-centric moviemaking that make for some really cool trailers, so I guess I should consider myself lucky. Check it out, and see what several trillion dollars worth of CGI can get you.

We just experienced a 4-hour island-wide blackout here, and I’m still squinting and hissing amidst all the bright lights.It struck me, while driving home in total blackness that there is no real meaning to life. I don’t know why that suddenly occurred to me, or even why I’m relating it to you, whoever the fuck you are, but it was like … I dont know, a drug-induced white light of self-discovery.

Sudden, unexplained blackouts happen pretty often in the Philippines, which is why I’ve had to replace the power supply on my PCs about 3 times in 2 years. The last time we had a genuine blackout was early this year, when a jellyfish found its way inside a fucking dam. A small spineless featherweight creature caused an island-wide blackout that lasted more than 6 hours.

Today’s blackout was a bit shorter, just over 4 hours. I guess maybe the jellyfish’s girlfriend came looking for him.

There is no real meaning to this article.

Thank you.