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Sci-Fi Cliches23 Jul 2003
Batman short film21 Jul 2003
Divx Player to view it. ]
The Big-Time20 Jul 2003
I went to my very first VTR two days ago, and no, I wasn’t auditioning for a part. They were casting for the Globe commercial we were working on, and I must say, it was pretty fucking gratifying actually being able to _choose_ the models you’ll be working with out of dozens of possibles (as opposed to, say, begging one to work for half of their usual rates). Just walking through the crowd of talents gathered outside the studio was like a friggin’ out-of-body experience. “Why, fiddle-dee-dee, I’m floating past a field of drool-inducing teenage models … my word! look at the cleavage on that one …”
I must’ve looked like a kid at a candystore (or more appropriately, a horny geek at a hoe store) because the PA assigned to us leaned in and asked, “Is this your first production?”
(I very slowly put my camera back into my bag, trying to look nonchalant and a little less tourist-like.)
I replied, “Well, it’s the first one where I didn’t do five different jobs (including storyboard artist, on-set art direction, production manager, production assistant and driver).”
To be completely honest, I don’t actually have to do anything for this commercial; no storyboard, no animation, nothing. I guess the closest analogy would be a consultant: I hang around and observe, give Avid my advice, then watch as he totally ignores it. No responsibility (and no liabilities) whatsoever. It’s oddly liberating.
Our PA doesn’t know I’m basically a non-entity in the production and I don’t bother explaining it to her. I don’t want her to think that she’s been wasting her time answering my questions and showing me around the compound after all. I’m still pretty shell-shocked about the whole affair; we have a shitload of people working under us, from accounts to set construction (!) to casting. The production designer showed us a drawing of a movie theater facade that he was going to have built for us over the next six days; I couldn’t tell what he was smoking. We’ve got 4 main talents, 20 extras, every single one of them paid for. We even have a professional animator drawing the storyboard — all I had to do was draw stick figures and write down a few notes.
I guess this is as close to “big-budget” as I will ever get, so I’m trying very hard to live every minute of it. We put together about a dozen low-to-no-budget videos over the past 18 months and for awhile, I actually thought that was as far as we’d ever get. Now suddenly we have this gig, where people follow you around, or take notes about what you say, or bring a chair for you to sit down on.
I know I should be thankful, and I am, really. I’m just a bit preoccupied admiring the Completely Invisible Pantyline on a seventeen year-old nymph as she leans forward to pick something up off the floor.
Neostream returns19 Jul 2003
Back in the mid ‘98, Neostream was the first site that really opened my eyes to what you could do with animation and sound on the web. It took almost 5 years to put together a new version, and I must say, it’s very worth the wait.
Things My Girlfriend and I Argue About12 Jul 2003
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Bill Bryson10 Jul 2003
An interesting fact I came across today:
All the diagrams you’ve ever seen of the solar system are wrong, because it’s impossible to show all of the planets in the correct proportion and with the correct distances.
If we reduced the Earth to the size of a pea for example, Jupiter would be 1000 feet away, Pluto would be a mile and a half away (not to mention that it would be the size of a bacterium, invisible to you), and Proxima Centauri, the next nearest star, would be over ten thousand miles away.
(From Bill Bryson’s A Short History of Nearly Everything)
Barry White, RIP4 Jul 2003
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Coke facts2 Jul 2003
Some funny facts about the world’s most popular softdrink:
1. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl and let it sit for one hour, then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous china.
2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of coca-cola and it will be gone in two days.
3. The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. Its pH is 2.8. It will dissolve a nail in about four days.
(from Expect Nothing)
Jack off for Peace1 Jul 2003
REM gives it away. A file-sharing network based on WinMX that is actually endorsed by the artists whose songs it’s pirating … er, distributing.
The ASCII Matrix. Rendered like you wouldn’t believe. (Page takes a minute or so to load.)