I was really looking forward to watching Silent Hill last Friday but apparently its Philippine premiere got pushed back to a more traditional mid-week opening. So I did the next best thing, i.e., looked for reviews and spoilers online to totally ruin the movie before I even got to see it. And boy, did I get an ear-(or rather, eye-)full.
Silent Hill is the first film in recent memory to get 0% on RottenTomatoes’ Featured Critics list, which is quite an achievement considering that Resident Evil: Apocalypse, which was a terrible crapshoot of a movie, at least got 8% on this list. (Alone in the Dark also received a rating of 0%, in case you were wondering.)
Some of the really biting reviews:
"Not only can I not describe the plot of this movie, but I have afeeling the last scene reverses half of what I thought I knew (ordidn’t know)."
- Roger Ebert, CHICAGO SUN-TIMES
"Christophe Gans’ convoluted, overlong adaptation of the video game Silent Hill is the worst kind of horror movie: trash that takes itself seriously."
- Elizabeth Weitzman, NEW YORK DAILY NEWS
"The literary equivalent of Java script."
- Christopher Smith, BANGOR DAILY NEWS (MAINE) (not actually sure what that soundbite was supposed to mean)
And here’s the real killer:
"Uwe Boll had nothing to do with this movie, but it has his general feeling of murkiness and poor plot structure."
Yowchie!
(Of course, all these bad reviews just make me want to watch it even more. I’m just a big sucker for shite movies I guess.)