Dear Mr. Alan Moore,
I assume that by now you have been forced into watching V for Vendetta, the newest movie that pilfers your classic comics.
I don’t think I can imagine just how bad you feel about all the shitty movies that have been supposedly based on your works, but let me just say that no real fan of yours will ever, ever think any of these shoddy "re-envisionings" will ever measure up to the majesty of your vision. Although V for Vendetta was, all things considered, the least shitty of the current crop (From Hell was a platitudinous wreck, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen was a Hollywoodized yawner and Constantine was like a bad joke), it’s still light-years away from capturing the width and breadth of your original epic.
Look on the bright side though: all of Vendetta the movie’s good bits — V’s intro monologue, V’s visit with Dr. Delia, Evey reading Valerie’s letter — are lifted word-for-word from the original comics. All the bad stuff, meanwhile, can be pretty much blamed on the Wachowski’s Cliffnotes-esque script and McTeigue’s lackluster directing. (And what’s with that lame-ass Matrix fight at the end, anyway?)
Although I do hope that one day, your work will be given a proper movie translation, I’m largely realistic. I wouldn’t mind terribly if you had your name excised from the upcoming Watchmen’s credits as well, if it comes to that. Film is a trivial, crowd-pleasing kind of medium anyway, and hardly worthy of the epics that you’ve written over the years.
Thank you for all the great stories, and let’s just try to forget that any of these terrible movies were ever made.
Your number one fan,
:luis